Ex- English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the disease.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the minute," he commented.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is certainly a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his present welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I process things in another way, and once I have the facts, it's simpler," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the problem, a series of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't feel poorly
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have some muscle deterioration in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I remain able to performing whatever I want. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Advancement
MND can advance quickly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the condition claims a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within 730 days of detection, as swallowing and breathing become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Speaking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the focus was staying in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be extremely intensely focused on just embracing and appreciating everything now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly lucky that the primary decision I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as possible. We won't recover those times back."
Athlete Connection
Top-level athletes are unevenly impacted by MND, with research proposing the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold greater than in the wider community.
It is thought that by restricting the air available and causing injury to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous training can trigger the disease in those inherently predisposed.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his brave, relentless method to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a tackle pad and began throwing himself into physical contacts.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the throw-in in the decisive moment of play, creating a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning field goal.
Assistance System
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who led England to that title, and a handful of other previous team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the minute, just having that sort of care and acceptance that people are there is the crucial thing," he commented.
"This game is such a excellent family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to call your love your career, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will wish to help in any way they can and I await having those conversations."
